Madeleine Lawson : Personally, I just have to say that my experiences in the sex industry have been, for the most part, lonely and unpleasant. Being a Black woman, I have to deal with a lot of bullshit in society. Being in the industry just intensifies that because it is all the more racist and sexist. At a certain point I was so angry and frustrated that I started to question my physical and mental wellbeing in such an environment. I remember one day when we had lots of business. Each of about seven women had about four or five clients. I was the only Black woman there, and I did not get one booking. Eventually, I felt like the maid, because when you’re working in this house, we’re all supposed to pitch in. If you get a session, great, but if you don’t you still have to take care of the house domestically, because its a play house for everybody, right ? So here I am, cleaning dishes, doing laundry, throwing away used condoms, answering the phone, and I’m not getting a dime. When I answer the phones to book sessions and mention myself, they’re all gung-ho until they hear I’m Black and then it’s like, “Sorry. I don’t want a Black chick. Who else do you have ?” I felt so angry because it confirmed my feelings that, in the sex industry, just like in the vanilla world, you have to try twice as hard to get anything, and you’re still not given any recognition.
I’m tired of being around all these naive white women who don’t know the meaning of fighting the system. They just sit there all wide-eyed, feeling philanthropic. They’re like, ‘Oh, do you want to come in on my session ? I can give you some.” Like something out of Uncles Tom’s Cabin. And I feel like, “No, I want my own session. I don’t want your fucking crumbs. I want my own piece of cake, thank you.” Being around all those white women who just don’t get it, the strength that I had as a Black woman slowly began to diminish. Contrary to what many of my white colleagues believe, for the most part, they are getting paid, being worshiped, and don’t want to get it.
« Showing Up Fully. Women of Color Discuss Sex Work. Blake Aarens, Hima B., Gina Gold, Jade Irie, Madeleine Lawson, and Gloria Lockett, moderated by Jill Nagle », in Jill NAGLE, Whores and other feminists, Routledge, 1997, p. 206-207